Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The Eye of the Storm

I was just reading my Bible tonight and having some quiet time and reflecting on everything that has transpired in the past 2 days. I was telling God how overwhelmed that I have been feeling, knowing that I need 100% by Friday. Heck, I think I have been more stressed in the past 48 hours than I have been at any other time in the support raising process and that's saying something. My days have included keeping busy, cooking, cleaning, and eating. All of which are stress relievers for me.

However, not much has had an impact at relieving my stress. I prayed a lot on Monday after I got the news but hadn't felt a whole lot like talking to God since. The first time had been mostly heaps and sobs over what the task was at hand and how overwhelmed I felt. Isn't it remarkable that even though God had just brought in 9% in a day that I still doubted his power? Much the same way the disciples wanted to know where food was going to come from for the 4,000 when they had just been with Jesus when he fed 5,000 with five loaves of bread and two fish. (Matt 15:29-39 and Matt 14:13-21) God provides. However, even those who are there to see what God can do and how it is nothing for him, doubt.

This overwhelming feeling has been washing up on me much like the huge rainstorms we have had in Fort Worth these past few days. I would swear the winds and rains of God's power and provision have been threatening to blow me away. My heart and head both feel like they are ticking time bombs. Tonight though, I got home from dinner with Tonja and babysitting and just felt like taking my worries to God. So I prayed.

Matthew 16: 30-34

"O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
I was praying to Him and reflecting on His word and His promises to provide for us and calm washed over me. It was if I was in the eye of the storm. I could see blue skies above to tell me that it would be okay. That even though only a small amount had sprinkled in today, His hand was busy at work. I know that soon the breeze will begin to pick up again, and so will the rain. I know that I will probably feel overwhelmed again soon, but I know whose words I will listen to, and it won't be mine, but the words of a God big enough to provide for all of us.

Matthew 7: 7-8

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."


P.S. Can you tell I was reading Matthew today?

1 comment:

  1. "His eye is on the sparrow so I know he watches over me."